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The client is then encouraged to talk to herself during the day by repeating these statements. We find ourselves stuck in a state of despair and pain.

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She left my office and I have never seen her again, but her story stays with me. The client is encouraged to take an inventory of the negative thoughts that pop into her mind throughout a normal day. In my practice, I ask people a lot of questions to keep them talking about what troubles them so they might discover their own solution.

It is this experience of hearing ourselves that allows us at times to suddenly think of what to do. Years ago, a woman in her late 40s arrived in my office.

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Since I am a psychologist, it is obvious to me how talking helps people. At times I smiled with her and at times my eyes, like her eyes, were filled with tears. Talking is cathartic There are many experiences in life that at times leave us emotionally overwhelmed.

However, the benefits of talking are not apparent to many people. Then the therapist and client together work out a series of positive statements to counteract the negative statements. She researches how people navigate their social worldsincluding how language and mental capacity influences interactions.

Focusing the attention on the other person in those moments can help us get past those awkward spots, she says. It is a lot like re-programming a computer. I have many stories of how people benefit from talking, but the story that follows is one I will never forget. Be curious Ask questions.

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At these times, we walk around feeling emotionally charged up and filled with tension. The benefits of talking are not apparent to many people. A solution pops into our mind.

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Our fear assumptions fail to take into the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says. Research actually suggests that people who ask more wouuld are better liked by their conversation partners than people who ask fewer questions.

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Very often, they are surprised how they suddenly woupd of how to solve the problem. When these experiences descend upon us, we feel emotionally frozen.

Talking helped her. A question can either kick off a conversation or keep it going, Sandstrom says. She related that wolud a prolonged illness with cancer, her year-old son died.

She was so appreciative. The charged feelings within us become less charged.

My eyes were focused on her and her feelings became my feelings. I did nothing but listen.

Talking le to a catharsis, which means a feeling of relief. I listened. Listening gives people an opportunity to tell their story, and, in the telling, they find relief witn a quieting of their emotions.

someoe At these times, talking can help. Research shows the opposite, however, that people nearly always are willing to engage in a conversation when prompted by someone else. Give someone a compliment It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains.

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Frequently, what has happened to us cannot be changed, such as when someone we love dies, a tragic accident occurs or we wth learned we have a terrible illness. I could see the despair and grief she was feeling. For the next two months, this mother arrived for her appointment each week.